


It's written (in the stars)

by empvthy



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Card Games, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Fortune Telling, Hints at Soulmate Stuff, Hugs, I don't know how to tag for shit, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Slight hurt/comfort if you squint, THIS IS SELF-INDULGENT, also Natsume teasing Koga for 13k+ words straight, and cuddles, and more kisses, bc it's my fav thing ok, because i can't not write angst, but who cares, i just need to spread the koganatsu agenda, partly koga study as well, so much fucking cheese in the last chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27373102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empvthy/pseuds/empvthy
Summary: Their first meeting happened by pure chance.Though, looking back at it years later, Koga would now say it was fate above all else.ORKoga and Natsume from their first year to their third.
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Sakuma Rei (mentioned), Oogami Kouga & Sakasaki Natsume, Oogami Kouga/Sakasaki Natsume, bits of Oogami Kouga & Otogari Adonis
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. 1st year - First meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kalothetic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalothetic/gifts).



> I have once again been summoned by the love for my girlfriend and therefore decided I desperately need to write something for our ship. I was gonna post this once I've written all scenes, but looking at how long the mere first one got, I decided I'll split it into chapters. I also can't wait to show this to her and this is 2 days later for our 10 months anyway....So, in conclusion, this one's for you Mina! I love you <3  
> ALSO; Don't think anyone cares but I've never written for Koga or Natsume before, so I apologize if anything seems off. I'm trying!

Their first meeting happened by pure chance. 

Koga made his way to the band room in search of Rei, guitar ever set on his back, determined to get the second-years attention this time.

To his disappointment, the room was empty. Well, except for the weird red-haired kid in the corner that he somehow recognized but couldn't really pinpoint where from. Not letting himself be deterred, he entered the room like it was his own and slammed the door shut.

“Who the hell are you 'n what're ya doing here?!“ Koga spat while settling down in a corner where he would be able to have a good view of both the door and the stranger. He was wearing the same uniform as Koga, so at least it wasn't some weirdo who had tried to break in. Or maybe the guy had stolen a uniform to blend in with the students?! Damnit. 

“I could ask you the sAME,“ the other boy asked, completely unfazed by Koga's attitude, no, instead he had the audacity to grin at Koga like he'd said something real smart.

“Hah?! I asked you first you dipshit!“

“HahaHA...I guess you're riGHT. I am waiting for Rei nii-sAN. The name's SakasaKI, we're in the same yeAR.“

'Rei nii-san'..? Somehow that nickname pissed Koga off. Who did he think he was using Rei's name like that? 

''So yer one of the oddballs? Suits you, Aki.“

The other boy gave him a funny look that he couldn't quite decipher before he spoke up again, “And yOU? You walk in here like you own the place and insult a fellow student you can't even bother remeberING.“

“Shut yer trap, I'm waitin' for Sakuma-senpai, just like you. So stop annoyin' me, I didn't come here to talk to some random guy.“

“'Sakuma-senpAI'? Ah, so you're that weirdo that chases Rei around all the tIME. I've heard quite a bit about yOU, but I can't say they're positive thiNGS. Oogami, was iT?“

Koga burned up at that, this guy had some damn nerves. Angrily he stomped over to where the other boy sat, grabbed him by the collar and tried to look as threatening as possible. Emphasis on 'tried'. ''I told ya to shut the hell up! I don't wanna hear shit from you, 'least I don't call Sakuma-senpai dumb ass names like that!“

Natsume, still unfazed by Koga, merely grabbed him by the wrist and looked him dead in the eye. “You'd better let go of me right nOW.” 

Koga didn't want to admit it, but something about that tone of his voice and the look in his voice made him feel uneasy, so he pulled away and went back to his seat. “If that'll make you shut up and leave me alone.”

And that was it. Neither of them said anything else and suddenly the room was silent as both of them waited. Koga felt increasingly uncomfortable as time went on, so, eventually, he pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket and fidgeted around with it just so he had anything to focus on. He had to regret his choice fast, however, when the unwanted guest spoke up once more, “You play caRDS?”

Koga huffed at that, not even looking up from the cards “None of yer business.”  
He hoped that Sakasaki would just take the hint and leave him alone, but it seemed like luck wasn't on his side today. 

“I know how to do CartomanCY.”

“I don't give a shit,” Koga shot back immediately, then paused. “...the shit is cartomancy?”

The other male broke into a grin at that. “I knew you'd aSK. It's fortune-telling but with caRDS. Usually, tarot cards are used for thIS, I'm sure you've heard of thoSE, but it works with normal playing cards tOO. Let me try it on yOU.”

Koga raised his brows at that. Fortune-telling was just a bunch of bullshit, but somehow he wasn't surprised that this guy was into that. 

“Hell nah. That stuff's crap. Plus, I told ya to leave me alone, christ.”

“Fine, thEN...how about thIS...We play a game of caRDS. If I wiIN, you'll let me look into your futURE. If you wIN, I'll leave you alONE.”

This piqued Koga's interest. While he didn't feel like playing buddies with this guy, he couldn't say no to a card game, especially since he already knew he would win, anyway.

“Deal. But don't complain if ya have to go cryin' to mommy when I crush you. I'm good at this. I'll let you choose a game since I'm feelin' that nice today.”

The red-haired smirked as he made his way over to sit closer. Koga didn't think he had anything to smirk over, but he was going to see that soon enough.

“Why, thank yOU. A round of poker, thEN. I want to see those cards first thOUGH.”

Well, that wasn't quite the choice Koga expected. He thought they'd end up playing something awfully simple, but he was quite pleased with the choice regardless. After a bit of reluctance, he handed over the cards as well so that Natsume could look through them.

“What, you think I rigged those? That's pathetic, I don't need to play cheap tricks to win.”

“I just wanted to see if you're trying to fool me or if you're really that awfully confident of your skILLS. Defeat tastes worse when you get ahead of yourSELF,” came the retort as Natsume handed the cards back.

Koga attempted nothing but a glare before he shuffled the cards once more and started dealing after both of them had agreed to bet a few yen. He was definitely going to win. Because, what the fellow student didn't know, Koga was good at reading people. Due to his behavior, it wasn't something people expected from him, but if he took the time to observe someone, it would usually tell him a few things about that person. For Natsume it was something oddly familiar to Koga. He had quite a cocky attitude in the way he spoke as well as in his facial expression, but somewhere between that he saw a kid. A kid with a dream and a spirit. A kid that was uncertain of what the future held (despite being a self-proclaimed fortune-teller), yet determined to make it worthwhile. A kid that didn't yet know where he belonged and wandered around trying to find it. Koga had to admit, he saw himself in all of that, too.

Either way, this ability gave him quite the advantage when it came to playing cards and he couldn't wait to show it off.

He quickly ran into a problem, however. He couldn't read Natsume while they were playing cards. He was playing carefully through the first few hands while closely watching the other boy and attempting to figure out little details that would give him away, but there was nothing. This wasn't a situation he usually found himself in. He always managed to figure his opponent out within one game, but this bastard was a whole nother code to crack. Instead, Koga himself began to feel more uneasy and he just hoped that the other didn't notice how thrown off he was by this. Whatever. He'd just have to rely on a bit more luck and a few other tactics of his own today.

Turns out there was no luck to rely on. The hands he got were almost all useless and whenever he did get a hand worth playing, he'd have to hope the other didn't have anything better. Since, fortunately for Koga, Natsume wasn't quite able to figure out his opponent either, it went back and forth for a while, both of them cautious. You could argue that they definitely took this game more seriously than they should have, but with both of their pride at stake, neither was going to let the other win easily. 

Yet, despite Koga's best efforts and before he even knew it, Koga lost. What the fuck. It wasn't that he was a sore loser, but he had been so certain of his win that his loss now felt even more humiliating. That smug grin on the damn red-heads face didn't help that either. Koga wanted to wipe that grin off the other's face and then kick himself for the big talk before, but that'd just make a mess and he was sure Sakuma wouldn't approve if he found out about it. Plus, Koga had agreed to let Natsume do his weird fortune-telling crap and he wasn't the type to break his promises, so he just handed his cards over again and mumbled a “Just get this shit over with...”

“GrEAT! The rules are simPLE. I will mix the cards and you'll have to pick five randomLY. Each one has a different meanING, so depending on the cards you pULL, I'll be able to tell what the future holds for yOU. Got iT?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Pull some cards and let you rant your ass off, gotcha,” Koga tried to act nonchalant about this whole thing, but he couldn't say he wasn't at least a little interested. He didn't think any of this would work for real, no way a few cards can just decide his future like that, but he was stuck here now so he might as well give it a chance. 

So, once Natsume had laid out the cards, Koga thought for a while before picking out five and turning them around to reveal what they were: 10 of Hearts, 2 of Hearts, 5 of Clubs, 7 of Spades and 6 of Diamonds.

“InterestING...” Natsume whispered, looking back and forth between the cards, chin resting on his hand as he was deep in thought. 

“What? What does this mean? C'mon, I don't have all day!” 

“WeLL...You've got quite a time ahead of yOU,” he started, then pointed to the 5 of Clubs, “Firstly, you'll make new frieNDS.” 

Koga wanted to object immediately, this was not gonna go anywhere. He didn't make friends. He was a lone wolf, there was no need for friends.

Or at least that was what he would tell himself. 

Still, he let the other continue, who now moved his hands towards the 2 of Hearts. “You will find something deeper than a friendship, tOO. A partner to rely oN.”  
Yeah, like that was gonna happen.

Next was the 6 of Diamonds and the 7 of Spades, at which Natsume's face darkened. “However, you will also face problems in your relationship that will lead to seperaTION, perhaps even loSS. Your road to success will be difficULT.”

Suddenly Koga wished he would have never agreed to this. Stuff like this was exactly why he avoided getting attached to anyone. He would just be disappointed once the other person leaves, so if he didn't get close to anyone in the first place, he also wouldn't have to feel like shit about losing someone.

“In the end thouGH...” Natsume's voice pulled him from his thoughts again, his hand now pointing at the last card remaining, 10 of Hearts. “You will be blessed with good fortUNE. Success in both your career and your social liFE. Whatever difficulties may lie in your wAY, do keep in mind that it will all pay off and you will find your happinESS.”

The last part sounded more like an attempt at comfort than an analysis on the meaning of the cards, but he wasn't going to tell him off for it. He didn't really know what to say at all, actually. He wasn't sure whether he should be excited over the fact that he was going to be successful or terrified by the fact that an attempt at getting closer to people would indeed prove to be a pain in the ass that'd just end up hurting him. 

If any of what the guy had said would be true, anyway. Which it totally wasn't. Fortune-telling wasn't real. Right. He just had to remember that.

“Uh...thanks, I guess. Sounds like shit, I sure hope yer just messin' with me.” 

“A true magician would never make a fool of someone while working their magIC. One day you will see that I am not lyING.”

Magician? This just got weirder by the minute. How did he end up hanging out with such an odd guy? 

“Whatever you say, Aki. Hey, you don't have anything better to do, right? I want revenge for earlier. This time I'll win for sure!”

The slightly older boy looked somewhat surprised at that. He had kind of expected the rowdy kid to make fun of him and then tell him to leave him alone again but instead it was the opposite – he wanted to play with him some more? Well, he couldn't say he had a problem with that, it was quite fun if he was being honest. And that sparkle in Oogami's eyes...he couldn't possibly say no to that. “SurE, I'll indulge you in another roUND.”

And so they went right back to playing. Koga lost the second round too and demanded another rematch, clearly not satisfied until he could claim a win. The third round went in his favor after all and Natsume had expected that would be it now that the grey-haired had gotten what he wanted, but instead they just switched games and went on playing. Rei never did show up, so, all forgotten about the initial reason for why they both came, they stayed way into the evening playing games and taking jabs at each other. Somewhere in between Koga had run off to get them drinks and a snack and, for that afternoon, every responsibility of theirs was forgotten. There was only them, the cards and the fun they had. (Though Koga would not admit that he had fun out loud. It was pretty obvious though, he was awful at hiding his excitement.)

Watching Natsume so closely for the sake of trying to read him did eventually get Koga somewhere, too. The other gave himself away at times with very small details, just minor movements of the corners of his mouth or his eyebrows, Koga would miss it if he wasn't practically staring. He didn't mind that though, it was a good excuse to stare at a pretty face without being weird.

Once it was well into the evening and Natsume was sure he'd get in trouble if he didn't come home soon, they called it a day. Koga thought that would be it. A one time experience that he would eventually forget about. It didn't go quite like this, though.

They met again under the same circumstances barely one and a half weeks later and resumed where they had left off. Then again. And again. And again until their meetings were no longer mere coincidences but more something that both of them sought out willingly. They would meet up and play card games over a few snacks and get to know each other better. Koga found out that Natsume lived at home with his parents and two cats, which were called Luci and Juju. He almost thought that was cute until Natsume revealed that those names were short for Lucifer and Judas. At this point he didn't really expect anything else from the cryptic “magician” though. And, weird names aside, the fact that he had pets immediately raised Koga's opinion of him. He even showed interest when Koga mentioned that he had a dog, and Koga agreed that Natsume could join him and Leon on a walk if he wanted to.

And so a friendship developed slowly between two kids that were particularly careful about getting to know other people, yet grateful that there was a mutual understanding between them so quickly. Both of them were surprised at how easily they clicked right from the start despite how different they were, yet neither of them could anticipate that the future would hold much more in store for them and their bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye, you've made it through! I'm hoping I'll get the next chapter out before the end of the week but no promises! I do intend to finish this though, I swear! I hope you enjoyed this little beginning! Thanks for reading <3


	2. 1st year - Separation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I offer you: Angst. Tomorrow? Who knows.  
> Also I wrote most of this chapter while half asleep so I'm sorry if it sucks-

Koga always attended the Oddballs' performances. Obviously so. After all, none other than the person he admired most in this entire school was their leader. Watching Rei on stage could definitely be counted as one of the greatest experiences Koga had and there was nothing he wished for more than to stand on that stage next to him one day.

He also had to admit that this meant he really only paid attention to Rei, what the other four did hardly interested him. Well, until he somehow managed to befriend the youngest of the bunch, of course. Koga's attention inevitably shifted towards Natsume at some point and somehow watching the red-head felt....magical. Being a first-year like himself, Natsume wasn't as experienced as the rest of them but something about the way he moved and sang was intoxicating. Koga didn't even notice just how engrossed he was in watching Natsume until suddenly the performance was already over and he would realize he hadn't even paid Rei any mind. What the heck? He came for Rei, not for Natsume. He wanted to curse his odd friend for taking his attention away from the one he really looked up to, but couldn't find it in himself to be mad when Natsume was so mesmerizing to look at.

All of that changed on the day of a new performance. He knew this day was going to be different because Valkyrie's leader had officially left the Oddballs after suffering a crushing defeat against fine, but he couldn't say he had paid his upperclassman much attention before anyways. Koga was just glad he would be able to see Rei and Natsume...

...Is what he would have said if it wasn't for the fact that only three people appeared on stage. Natsume wasn't one of them. What the hell? There had been no notice of a second member leaving the group. Was he maybe just sick? Would he join the performance later? That had to be it, right?  
Koga's eyes were glued to the stage, scanning from left to right and back, waiting for Natsume to appear. He couldn't even focus on the three on stage, his mind occupied with thoughts of his friend. He hadn't seen Natsume in a week so he had no idea what was going on, just figured that the other would be busy practicing for the next performance. Instead, it was like the red-head had never existed. 

Koga stayed nearby long after the performance was over, he needed to ask Sakuma about Natsume. Rei, however, had merely shaken his head and told him that Natsume was no longer a part of the group. 'It was best for his own safety', he said. The feeling in Koga's gut just turned into worry. He knew that the Oddballs were important to his friend and he couldn't imagine that he'd just be okay leaving the group. He had to find Natsume.

Problem was, he couldn't reach Natsume. They had exchanged phone numbers at some point, but he didn't answer Koga's texts. Fine, he'd just look for him at school the next day. But no luck either. He knew for a fact that he was at school, a classmate had seen him that day, but the magician was nowhere to be found, not even after he searched the entire school twice.

In the end, he turned to Rei again.

“Please, Sakuma-senpai, I need to find him! You know where he is, right?” Koga pleaded.

The older boy sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Can I really trust you to take care of him?”

“Of course! Natsume- He's....he's my friend!” Koga had never called Natsume his friend out loud. He's not sure he's ever called anyone his friend out loud. He was serious about this though, and he needed Rei to understand that.

“Alright then...” the self-proclaimed vampire dug around in his bag for a moment and pulled out an object before turning back to the grey-haired and holding out his hand that held an ancient-looking key. Koga took it carefully and eyed it in confusion. “If you search in the library, you will find a keyhole hidden behind a book. Use the key and you will find him.”

Koga was partly convinced Rei was messing with him. Why would there be a random keyhole in the library and where the heck was that supposed to lead him? Well, he supposed he didn't have a choice but to believe Rei, so he thanked him and quickly made his way to the library. Looking for a single small keyhole turned to be quite an act with the number of books stacked in this damn room and Koga really was not patient by any means. With every book he pulled out to reveal absolutely nothing, the urge to smack said book against the next wall became bigger and the only reason he didn't act on it was that it wasn't his property. 

Then, after what felt like hours, he finally found it. He pulled the key out of his pocket and hurriedly put it into the lock. Fortunately for him, the key fit, but his relief was short-lived when suddenly the ground below him shook violently and started to lower into the ground along with him. He let out the most embarrassing yelp possible before clinging to the shelf, watching in horror as the library disappeared above him and the strange lift led him into....another library? He stayed glued to his spot for another minute after the movements had ceased before he trusted himself enough not to be hallucinating right now and finally stepped further into the underground room. Koga was never quite big on libraries, though he appreciated them for the fact that they were quiet and people wouldn't annoy the crap out of him, but this place was on a different level. It was much bigger than the library above and definitely many years older as well. He wanted to take his time and explore this place to its fullest, but that wasn't what he was here for. He came to find Natsume, who, according to Rei, should be somewhere around here.  
He didn't seem to be anywhere in the main hall, so, instead, he approached the single door in the room that would hopefully lead him to where his friend was. There came no reply after he knocked, which immediately made him lose hope once again, but he still decided to try and enter, so he turned the doorknob slowly, satisfied when it clicked and the door opened. 

The room he found himself in now looked much more modern than the library and, with the satanic symbol on the ground and a desk filled with chemicals that certainly didn't look healthy or legal and old papers scattered around, it had a very Natsume-like feel to it. Which didn't seem to be wrong because there his friend was, sitting across from him against the wall, a manuscript like document in hand. Those amber eyes looked at Koga and almost sent a chill down his spine.

“Uh...hi,” Koga said awkwardly as he stepped further inside and closed the door before settling down on the ground near Natsume, who didn't take his eyes off Koga. 

“How did you find mE?” came the immediate question, the magician's voice serious and almost accusing. It made Koga nervous. 

“I...I asked Sakuma-senpai. He told me where to find ya 'n stuff..”

“WhY?” Koga was at a loss. Why what? Wasn't this the kind of thing you do when you worry about someone? He wouldn't really know, after all, there wasn't really anyone who cared about him (well, no human at least), but he figured this was the right thing to do. Natsume however looked at him as if he was committing a crime.

“Because I care about ya?” came the sincere reply. He didn't like exposing his true feelings like that, usually avoided it at all costs, but he had also avoided making friends before Natsume came and completely threw that out of the window, so how bad could this be? “I saw...you weren't...well, Sakuma-senpai told me, uhm, you left the group and I just...wanted to see how you're doin'.”

Natsume just kept staring. It was as if his eyes were looking right into Koga's soul and it did little to make Koga feel less anxious about the entire situation. The other boy didn't seem like he was going to answer and Koga didn't know what else to say, either. He absolutely sucked at this.

“I think you should leaVE,” Natsume finally said after a few minutes of incredibly awkward silence.

“What...?” Koga replied, despite having heard the other loud and clear. “Are you joking?”

“No. I told you to leaVE. Was that not clear enouGH? I don't need someone like you caring about mE:” 

'Yes you fucking do', was what Koga wanted to retort, but not a single sound left his throat. Now it was his turn staring. This was not how he had imagined this conversation to go. He wanted to do anything to stay, he didn't want to believe that this was really what Natsume wished for, but those eyes told him Natsume was dead serious. Koga had to swallow the lump forming in his throat.

“Okay,” was all he said before he got up and walked towards the door. 

“Oh anD...” Koga stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Natsume again, who still wore the same serious expression. “...don't bother coming baCK.”

Koga didn't reply. He just left. Out the room, up the stupid shelf elevator, back into the actual school library. That's exactly how long he was able to keep his composure before the hurt and the anger exploded and his fist connected with the wall. It stung, but not nearly as much as what had just happened before.

This was exactly why Koga didn't do friends. Nothing good ever came out of it. No, he had made a friend after so fucking long and it was such a good feeling, he hated to admit how much fun it was, and now all of that was stomped into the ground within 5 minutes and all he was left with was himself and his anger. He wasn't even sure what he was angry at. Maybe at himself for not handling the situation better and not being able to convince Natsume that he could help. Maybe at Natsume for proving his point of how useless it was to make friends at all. Probably at the Oddballs and fine and everyone at this damn school who caused Natsume to be hurt and act all weird like that. Koga entered Yumenosaki because he wanted to become an idol much like everyone else here, not to watch the dreams of those he cared about being crushed. 

It was on that day that Koga decided he was done making friends or any of that bullshit. He was tired of being hurt and disappointed.

Natsume would regret this day for a long time. He hadn't meant to say it. 'Please stay with me', was what he had wanted to tell Koga, instead the opposite left his mouth. The shock on Koga's face and the hurt in his eyes almost made Natsume want to cry on the spot, but he held it in until Koga had left. This wasn't what he wanted at all. He had fucked up so bad and all just because he was too overwhelmed with emotions that he didn't know what to do or say at all. He didn't know how to ask for help even if it was being offered to him so clearly, so he just pushed Koga away and ruined everything. 

At least no one would be able to hear him cry now.

-

It didn't take much longer until the rest of the Oddballs had been crushed entirely. Fine had won. Rei was in and out of the country, Shu and Valkyrie in general stayed on hiatus, Wataru dedicated all his time to theater again and Kanata and Natsume were also gone entirely for quite a while.

Natsume had expected this to happen but that hardly made it easier to deal with. He couldn't help but feel like he should have done more and that it was all his fault. And now he was all alone, though he supposed he deserved it. He didn't do enough for the Oddballs and he had royally fucked up with Koga. There was no one to blame but him. The guilt was eating away at him to the point it became unbearable. He knew there was no going back to Rei or Wataru, but the smallest part of him hoped that just maybe he could talk to Koga and tell him that he hadn't meant it. He had nothing more to lose anyway, so one evening he decided to pay the band room a visit. 

It didn't go well.

Upon knocking at the door, an annoyed “What?!” came from inside, which was definitely Koga's voice. At that moment Natsume thought he could still turn around and leave before he could fuck up any more. He probably should have. 

Instead, though, he opened the door and entered the room. Koga was alone, which was both the best and the worst scenario. He would be able to talk to Koga in private, but also he _had to_ talk to Koga in private. 

Speaking of, the younger's expression immediately turned darker as he caught sight of his...former friend. “What the fuck do you want? You know Sakuma's fucking gone.”

That made it sound like Rei had died. Well...it wasn't that far off the mark.

“I came here because of yOU. I wanted to a-”

“Me? Fuck you. Shove the apology up your ass, I don't wanna hear it.” 

“Oogami plea-”

“I said fuck you! What the hell do you expect from me? That I pretend like everything's sunshine 'n rainbows? That I act like nothin' happened? You know what? Screw you! Screw all of you!” Koga gripped the guitar in his hands so tight, Natsume was afraid it would break under the pressure. His face held anger and hurt for two, and Natsume could hardly blame him. Koga was right. It was pretty much what he deserved.

“You're all the fucking same,” Koga continued to rant before Natsume could even come up with a reply, though he wasn't sure if the guitarist was talking to Natsume or himself. “Get my fuckin' hopes up 'n then up and leave. I'm done with this shit. You know what? Your fortune-telling is bullshit. I don't fucking need anyone to be my friend or anything else, I'll show all of you bastards that I don't need anyone else to be successful. Now fuck off before I make you.”

Natsume was at a loss for words. He wanted to say something to make the situation better, wished he could just snap his fingers and make it all alright, but he knew he couldn't. What Koga said hurt, but he wasn't mad at the other. Things wouldn't be like this if Natsume hadn't shut him out in the first place. He deserved all of this.

So, resigned, Natsume nodded his head and turned to leave. “I'm still sorry thoUGH. I mean thAT. I never meant to hurt yOU.” Then he left. Natsume felt both better and worse. In the end, he had told Koga he was sorry, which was really all he could ask for, but it was ever so clear that he had truly fucked it up. 

Koga just felt worse. _I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to hurt you either_ , he thought. He couldn't say it because Natsume had already left the room, but he wasn't sure he would have been able to say it even if he was still there. He wanted to kick himself. He should have accepted Natsume's apology. The other guy had just been dealing with a lot of things and pushed Koga away as a result. He should forgive him for that. On the other hand, Koga had been disappointed one too many times himself. And right now, everyone had left. And he sure as hell wasn't going to crawl back to anyone. In the end, he decided to stick by what he had said to Natsume. Don't make any friends, go his own way, fuck everyone and fuck the ache in his chest and fuck the tears burning in his eyes. He didn't need any of this shit if he wanted to become the best idol. He just needed to focus on his career and his own improvement. Other people just got in the way because they made him feel things. 

For that evening, he allowed himself to cry it out. After that he would be determined not to let anyone or anything get to him ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it gets happier I JUST CAN'T NOT WRITE ANGST...I still hope you liked it though...


	3. 2nd year - Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY I am finished with this chapter...God this took me way too long. I'm quite glad I managed to get it done though! I went a bit off-track and somehow turned this into a bit of a 2nd-year Koga study in general but oh well!  
> Hope you enjoy <3

Koga had to admit, his 'do not even try to make friends ever again'-codex didn't last particularly long. Granted, he had indeed not _tried_ to make friends again, it was more so that Rei pushed it onto him when suddenly he came back from one of his overseas trips and brought back a random guy from a foreign country that was apparently enrolled in Yumenosaki...or something. Koga had had no interest in playing buddies with this guy and thought he made that clear, but Rei and the shitty glasses guy and lapdog of Tenshouin both agreed that Koga should take care of the guy – Adonis – as they were too busy to do so themselves.

In the end, Koga agreed to teach Adonis the basics of Yumenosaki and then hopefully get rid of him as soon as possible. That, however, did not happen. 

_'Why the hell don't ya hang with your classmates instead or some shit?'_ , was what Koga would ask the other often, but Adonis would always say that they all already had other friends and that Koga was always alone, so he thought it'd be most appropriate of him to spend time with Koga.

And then, somehow, Undead happened. While Koga would never admit it to them, he couldn't deny that the group had grown on him, even if his upperclassmen were an annoying pain in the ass. In a way, this was all he ever wanted and more.

He also couldn't deny that he still thought about Natsume sometimes. Since Natsume had a habit of skipping school or hiding in the secret library, they hardly came across each other, which both helped Koga try to forget what had happened yet also made him wonder how the red-head was doing. Not that he cared. Definitely not. 

One day he got his answer though. It was a day like any other but when he walked past a news board and caught a glimpse of red, he stopped. 

Upcoming debut of the magical unit Switch at the next B1. On the poster was none other than the damn wannabe magician, next to him some kid Koga didn't recognize and...a member of Ex-Fine? That didn't make any fucking sense. Why the hell would Natsume pair up with one of those bastards? Koga scoffed. He didn't care. No fucking way. 

And yet...he couldn't stop thinking about the poster.

“Is something wrong? You seem a bit off today,” Adonis asked Koga as they were hanging out at Koga's place in the evening. Shit, this stupid poster was distracting him too much.

“Nah, 's cool. But uh...will ya humor me for a sec?” Koga asked back, earning a nod from the taller boy, “So...this is purely theoretical. Say, you used to be friends with someone but then you fucked up bad and you haven't talked to them in months. Then you see that they're going to participate in a B1 with a new unit 'n like...you kinda wanna go see it but you know you don't have that right after what you did. What would you do...?”

Adonis blinked, seemed to think for a while and then smiled. “I think you should listen to your heart. If you want to go, then do that, otherwise you will just regret not going afterward.”

“Who the fuck said this is about me?! What do you not understand about theoretical?! Do I gotta spell it out for you or what?” Koga tried to defend himself, clearly embarrassed over being seen through just like that. This was a terrible idea. 

“I'm sorry Oogami, but you're not a good liar. Even I can tell. If you do not feel comfortable going alone, I wouldn't mind accompanying you.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Of course, it would be my pleasure to help out a friend.” 

He hated how kind and helpful Adonis was. Koga himself wasn't a very pleasant person to be around in most people's eyes, yet Adonis was never deterred by Koga's attitude and still offered to help him out and called him a friend. He really didn't deserve it. He also hated that he had let it come this far at all because he knew that, if he somehow fucked it up with Adonis too, he'd be distraught. 

“...Fine. I'll think about it,” Koga replied eventually, and that settled that. 

Said B1 came a few days later and Koga had ultimately decided to say fuck it and just go there, even though he almost chickened out last minute if not for Adonis reassuring him they were doing the right thing. The two Undead members took their seats in the middle rows and Koga immediately wanted to regret attending this stupid event at all. Since Fine was to perform first, the hall was filled to the brim with people chatting at unnervingly loud volumes, which didn't help Koga's nerves in the slightest. He was already stupidly anxious as it was, the last thing he needed was so much fucking noise and all these smells that just made his head spin and- 

“Oogami? Are you alright?” Adonis' voice next to him took him back to reality and he was grateful for the distraction just so he could focus on anything.

“Y-yeah, 'm good,” he answered, though his friend didn't seem very convinced. Adonis knew better than to push Koga though, so he let it drop. 

Not long after that, the lights finally went out and the spotlight was on the stage on which Fine appeared. Seeing them pissed Koga off, especially because they never participated in the B1s. It felt like they were trying to take this from Natsume too when Switch was supposed to be today's main event, but Koga had a feeling this was planned. He couldn't deny that Fine was bound to draw in a lot of people that wouldn't be here at all otherwise, so it wasn't stupid to use Fine as bait. Whatever. He had no reason to care.

Once Fine's performance was over, Koga's nervousness spiked and he didn't even know why. It was stupid, he was way more nervous than before any of his own performances and he was just sitting in the damn audience today. 

And then he saw him. Koga could have sworn his heart stopped for several seconds before pumping so hard that blood rushed all the way to his head. Fuck. What the fuck. Why was he freaking out like this? He was just watching some stupid performance of some stupid unit with stupid outfits and stupid everything. 

Still, the way the red-haired leader entranced Koga during his performance was just like back when everything was still alright and, god, Koga had missed this feeling so much. It was like all his anxieties were being washed away in an instant and instead replaced with a warmth that bloomed in his stomach and then traveled through his entire body like wildfire, the heat running through each of his veins and breaking the ice in them with a force that could bring someone back from the dead. Which fit, after all, he was one of the undead too.

Unfortunately for him, the performance ended what was way too soon for him, he could've sat there for another hour or two just listening to the upbeat tunes and watching his old friend move around on stage. Well, if Switch was going to be a thing from now on, Koga might just be able to experience this again, so maybe he could just go home in peace with that knowledge. 

Once the B1 was over, the two second-years waited for the audience to deplete before eventually leaving without having to squeeze through so many people, then Adonis spoke up, “So, are you glad that you attended in the end?” 

“...yeah. I think so,” came the sheepish reply, Koga looking away as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Thanks, by the way. For, uh...comin' with me 'n stuff.”

“You're very welcome, I'm happy that we made the right choice for you.” Koga didn't want to look at Adonis because he just knew the other boy was giving him a smile and, shit, Adonis was too damn nice for him. 

He didn't have to dwell on that thought for too long though as he caught sight of three familiar figures that had just been on stage. “Hey, uh, you can go ahead without me. I think I still got somethin' to do here...”

Adonis followed the direction Koga was looking in, quickly realizing what the grey-haired meant when he saw the members of Switch. “I see. I will see you tomorrow then, yes?” 

Koga simply nodded before the two said their goodbyes and Adonis left, leaving him all on his own as he slowly made his way over to the group. He didn't know what he was thinking, this was the worst idea he'd come up with in quite a while, there was no way this was going to go well. He hadn't planned to approach Natsume, much less thought of what he could possibly even say at this point, but something told him that if he didn't do it now, he never would. Fuck it, the worst that could happen would be Natsume ignoring him or telling him off, which ultimately wouldn't make the situation any different from how it was now.

“Aki!” Koga called out and, _holy fucking shit_ , he was so stupid. Why did he use that damn nickname?! He should have called him by his last name if anything, now he just ruined the situation before it even started. Great job. 

When Natsume stopped dead in his tracks and turned around, Koga felt the sudden urge to also turn around and run away, feeling incredibly small under the gaze of the other boy. 

“...OogaMI..?” the confusion, no, shock on the other's face and in his voice was evident, all the mysterious aura he usually hid his true feelings under gone immediately. “What...are you doing hERE?” 

“I saw your performance,” he started, trying to find his words without fucking up even more, though he was never particularly good with words and pretty much bound to make this awkward, “you uh...you were good. I-In the performance, I mean...” 

Natsume was absolutely dumb-founded. This was not at all how he had expected his day to go. He quickly signaled towards his unit mates to leave the two alone, before looking back at Koga, half expecting to see nothing and that his mind was playing tricks on him after such a long day. Koga, however, still stood there, eyes glued to the ground. “Ah, thank yOU...”

The silence that built afterward was suffocating to Koga, but he didn't know what to say or do. He couldn't just leave it at this, but there was only one thing he could think of saying and that was something he had trouble forming despite only being two damn words long. 

It was the same for Natsume, so the silence stretched out some more until finally...

“I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorRY.”

Both of them stared at each other for a moment, taken aback by the way their words mirrored each other, then they laughed. Not only because they said the same thing in the same moment, it was also a laugh of relief. After months they finally said out loud what both of them had been desperate for the other to hear since the day they parted.

“So...you ain't mad at me?” Koga asked carefully, still worried that something could go wrong, but Natsume shook his head.

“I wanted to ask you that, actualLY.” 

“Fuck no, I got nothin' to be mad at except myself. I...I was the one who messed up big time. And that's why...I'm sorry.” Koga hated admitting to any of his thoughts and feeling in front of someone else, but he knew that it was the least he could in an attempt to mend their friendship. He just hoped it would be enough.

“I would say both of us made mistAKES. HowEVER, I would like to make up for thEM, while we're at iT.”

This was going heaps better than Koga could have ever anticipated. If Natsume had told him to leave him the hell alone and never talk to him again, he would've absolutely understood it, but this was so much better than that. “I...would like that, too.”

“That's coOL...How about we go grab a drink or something and catch UP? I'm free nOW.”

Internally Koga did a double-take. He must have been dreaming because all of this was entirely too good to be real. “Oh yeah sure, sounds good,” he said as composed as possible, though he wasn't hiding his own emotions very well either at the moment. Good thing Natsume himself was equally as nervous, so really it wasn't that embarrassing for Koga.

And so they made their over to a nearby café, still encompassed by a bit of an awkward silence on their walk after not talking for that long. The place itself was fairly small, which Koga appreciated because it meant they would actually be able to talk without too many people around. 

Natsume ordered a plain black coffee (akin to the void in his soul or some shit, Koga was still a little too nervous to listen properly), and, without proper consideration, Koga ordered the same. Which was definitely a mistake because Koga hated black coffee but his mind was still running a hundred miles a minute and the thought of what to order found no place in that jumbled mess, so he just ran with whatever Natsume wanted. Ah well, how bad could it be?

“So...how've you been? Took your sweet ass time before comin' back,” Koga managed to ask after their orders had been taken. 

“For a while, I wanted to quit the whole idol thING. I thought this thing was rotten and that I'd be better off following my mother's career anyWAY. But I guess part of me still hoped I could fulfill the dreams I used to haVE, so that's why I'm here nOW.” 

Koga couldn't blame him for that. He, too, had lost a lot of faith in idols as a whole during the course of the war, entirely mortified as he watched people he cared about bend and break just because other people were selfish. He was also glad however that both of them stayed, or else they wouldn't be sitting here right now. 

“Yeah...I get that. I have a question though...” Koga wasn't sure if it was a smart thing to ask, but curiosity killed the wolf, huh? “...why that guy from the former Fine? If there's anyone with the right to hate those bastards, it's you guys.”

Natsume let out a snort at that, Koga hit the nail head-on. “I don't really know eithER. Revenge probabLY. Maybe piTY...Or maybe I just needed someone else to let my frustration out on directLY, who knOWS.”

Well, that answer was just as telling as Natsume usually was. Koga didn't really get it but he also wasn't going to say anything about it if that's what Natsume thought was right for him. 

“That bastard isn't all bad thOUGH. He's trying real hard to make up for what happeNED, even if that will never undo anythING. What about yOU? Seems like you got what you wanted in the eND, standing on the same stage with Rei-niiSAN.”

Koga couldn't help but sigh at that, “Yeah, well, 's not all perfect like I used to imagine, but that was naive of me anyway. The vampire bastard 'n the flirty bastard are a real piece of work, I tell ya, they drive me nuts. Adonis is the only damn guy who doesn't grind my gears like crazy, though he's a lil' oblivious sometimes. Still...” Once again Koga averted Natsume's gaze and stared out of the window instead. He always looked away when he was being honest, Natsume had observed that much in the past, and it was no different now. “...they finally gave me a place where I feel like I belong.” 

Natsume had to smile. It was a genuine one, much different from the mischievous ones he usually wore, “See, I was right after ALL. I told you that you'd make frIENDS.” 

“Oh shut up you tricky bastard! It's not like I asked for those shitheads to come 'n annoy the crap outta me all the time!” Ah, it was so easy to embarrass Koga, Natsume enjoyed teasing him as he always promised to give a good reaction. He couldn't deny that he had missed this.

Being interrupted by the waiter bringing their drinks gave Koga the time to regain his cool as Natsume immediately went and took a sip, obviously enjoying that awfully bitter stuff. Koga would never understand how anyone would choose to drink this shit, but now he had no choice either. 

“How's Rei anyWAY...?” Natsume asked somewhat hesitantly as he sat his coffee back down. He hadn't really talked to the raven-haired since the fall of the Oddballs and he still didn't really think he could, feeling it was his fault to begin with.

Koga paused at the question, not entirely sure what to say. “...Good. Uh, mostly. Better for sure though...”

“That's good to hEAR. Seems like you guys are taking good care of HIM.”

“As much as the bastard lets us, yeah,” Koga mumbled, ultimately reaching for his own coffee just to have anything else to look at before continuing, once again avoiding eye contact, “Gotta repay him somehow for how much of some shitty deadweight I was bein' last year.”

For a while they sat in silence, Koga taking a sip of his coffee while trying his hardest to keep a straight face at the taste. “I wish I could repay him tOO.”

“The hell you mean by that?” Koga asked immediately, brows furrowed. Unlike Koga, Natsume had actually done _something_ to support their upperclassman, instead of just clinging to him like a lost puppy.

Natsume did not think that way, however. “I couldn't do anythING. He and Wataru-niisan were so keen on protecting me that I could only watch as everything went downHILL. I tried everything to help but it wasn't enOUGH. Maybe if I had done mORE, they wouldn't have had to suffer so mUCH. It was my fault in the eND, I should have-”

“Are you actually fuckin' stupid?” Koga interrupted, voice low and expression serious. 

“W-whAT?”

“You're a fucking moron, you absolute idiot. Jesus fuck, do you hear yourself? 'If', 'should have', 'would have'...fuck all of that. Yer not gonna get anywhere livin' in the past like that. For one, what you're sayin' is bullshit, it's nobody's fault but that of the greedy bastards who started this. Tenshouin's plan was so thought-out, no one coulda done a thing. Neither you nor Sakuma-senpai nor anyone else,” Koga ranted, there was no way he could let Natsume talk nonsense like that. “Two, the hell does it matter now? Shit happened and it sucked ass but you're not gonna make it better by going over the ifs 'n buts. What really matters is what you do now in the damn present. I know for a damn fact that Sakuma and whoever else ya feel guilty over's gonna forgive ya if you go ahead with that new unit of yours and kick some ass instead of being stuck in the past, you hear that? Come and show us what you've got on stage, face us head-on! Here and now, in the present and the future, think about that!”

Koga really had a way of making Natsume speechless. At first glance, you wouldn't expect Koga to be the type to give you aggressively motivational ted-talks with such genuine advice, but here that considerate bastard was, looking at him with such an intensity that even Natsume was shaken.

In a way, Koga's words were everything he had needed to hear and more. He wanted to believe it, that he did everything he could have and that it wasn't his failure after all. Maybe, just _maybe_ , he could start accepting this.

“Don't get too cocKY, we'll definitely 'kick your ass' at some point if you're not careFUL. You just wAIT!” Natsume grinned at him. _'Thank you, I needed to hear that.'_

“Heck yeah, that's what I wanna hear! I won't go easy on ya just 'cus we're friends!” _'Of course, asshole.'_

Wait. He called Natsume his friend. Fuck, it was still totally too early to call him that again, they had just barely started talking again, crap, shit, screw him and his unfiltered mouth-

“Ha! You finally admitted to having a frIEND!” Natsume retorted at that with a playful tone, yet internally wanting to cry tears of joy at the fact that he got to be called a friend by Koga.

“Fuck you, I take it back! You're the worst!” the ever embarrassed boy shouted, though he was more relieved than anything since Natsume didn't seem to mind. 

“SorrY, I can't hear you over the echo of you calling me your friEND~”

“Ugh, will you shut up?! You're fuckin' obnoxious!”

“You like that about mE.”

“No, I don't!”

“Yes, you dO. Now calm dOWN, people are starting to stARE.”

Koga finally stopped at that, looking around before eventually leaning back with a scoff. He didn't further deny the red-heads statement. 

And so they spent a while longer just talking about whatever with the occasional exchange of teasing and insults, falling right back into a similar pattern to their first-year, where they would completely lose track of time while engrossed in each other's company. Neither said it out loud, but both of them were incredibly grateful that they managed to go back to how things used to be while also starting over entirely. 

This day would set a new path for the two boys that they would continue to walk together from then on.


	4. 3rd year - Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we have made it to the last chapter!!!! I am incredibly happy to have come this far and I really hope you enjoy reading this final chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

Koga knew he was fucked the moment he realized he had developed a crush. The great and ever so proud lone wolf Oogami Koga went and developed a big, fat crush on this insufferable friend of his. Wonderful. Just what he needed. 

He knew himself even more fucked when being around the certain someone started becoming unbearable. Every time the other was talking, every time Koga was giving him his attention, he just wanted to shut him the hell up by kissing those stupid lips that he definitely didn't ever stare at. If this was what it was like to have a crush, Koga would like to return it with a receipt, thank you very much. 

Life wasn't that kind, however, so now he was stuck thinking about dumb red hair and ridiculous “spells” and cryptic statements at all times, which was entirely too distracting for Koga's liking. He had things to do and goals to achieve, no way he had the time and patience to deal with something as unnecessary as feelings, especially when they went from “I don't mind spending time with this person” to “I don't want to be away from this person ever and even if I am, they constantly play on my mind on fucking loop and nothing I do helps ease any of that and FUCK I'm going insane!”.

Having grown up with little to no people around, friends were already a rare thing for him to have, but something as grand as this had never crossed his mind until now, so he was really at a loss for how to handle it. He only knew that if he didn't do anything about this, he'd go crazy for real. 

So he decided to confess. Today. 

Yes, that was an incredibly horrible idea on his part, he had no idea how to deal with something like this or how his friend was going to react, but there was no way he could keep it to himself any longer. Between his realization and his planned confession lay about 3 months now. He had wanted to do it earlier but, in the end, always gave up on it in fear of...well, what was he afraid of? Rejection? God, that was absurd. The proud lone wolf being afraid of rejection? Yeah, right. Goddamnit. 

A look at his phone told him that it was currently 4:43 pm, which meant he still had about 15 minutes to prepare (panic) before the person in question would arrive. He himself sat on the small couch, the coffee table in front of him already neatly laid with drinks and snacks that were usually present whenever they met up to play games. Despite officially having moved into the dorms at ES, Koga didn't yet have the heart to sell his own apartment again, so it remained a place where the two would often meet up. Maybe that was exactly a reason why he didn't want to move into the dorms completely. Sure, Kazehaya wouldn't object if Koga wanted to invite Natsume over to their shared room, but Koga had to admit he liked the privacy where it was just the two of them.

On the surface this was just going to be one of the many evenings where they sat together playing card, board, or video games and talking about whatever was on their minds, unwinding from their hectic daily lives in order to just forget about responsibilities for just a moment. Except he wasn't only betting who was going to buy the other a meal next, today he was betting his heart, too. Somehow he didn't think his chances of winning were particularly likely.

Much like usual, all his faith was placed in the cards he had prepared. They weren't normal cards though, five of the cards in his deck had been modified by him and he would make sure to deal exactly these cards to none other than Natsume. Each of the cards had something written on them so that together they constructed a sentence: “Will – you – go out – with – me?”  
It was stupid and entirely too cheesy, he knew, but he could never actually ask his friend out directly and these plain damn cards had a special part in their friendship since they were really what set everything off anyway. 

Furthermore, the cards were picked out carefully as well. They ordered as follows: 5 of Clubs, 2 of Hearts, 6 of Diamonds, 7 of Spades, and 10 of Hearts. The exact same cards that Koga had once picked so that Natsume could go off about his fortune-telling when they first met 2 whole years ago. 

In a way, these cards were the entire reason he was doing this. Besides new friendships, success, and separation in between all that, Natsume and the cards had promised Koga “something deeper. “A partner”, “someone to rely on”...everything else had come true and this was the only part still missing. So, if his brain had decided Natsume should be that person, it had to work out too...right? It couldn't be anyone else because no one else around him made him feel the way the damn magician did. 

He was aware that his reasoning was incredibly flawed and that the last thing he should rely on in such a case was something that a fraud like Natsume had once told him, but was it really so bad to believe in magic every once in a while?

Still, even with that little bit of faith in him, he was a nervous wreck, overthinking every possible thing that could go wrong. He was starting to think he should have asked someone who was more knowledgeable in this field for advice but, really, who could he even have asked? People he considered himself close enough to talk to would pretty much be Adonis, Akehoshi, the twins, Ritchii, wimpy glasses, and maybe red streaks as of late. The problem was that all of these people were guaranteed to be a hundred times worse than him and if he took any of their advice, Natsume would definitely say no. 

Which would have left his two remaining unit mates and friends, Sakuma and Hakaze. They might have been able to help him out better, especially considering that, after a year of awfully hopeless pining and entirely too much denial, they had finally gotten together, but Koga did not feel like being humiliated by those two. God only knows they would be teasing the crap out of him if he told them. Furthermore, Kaoru would just give tips that were way too blunt for Koga, and Rei would probably tell him that he had to figure this out himself. _'You do only have one life, however, so you should take your chance as long as you still have it'_ , he could practically hear Rei say. _'Says the one who found himself someone way after his death'_ , Koga would retort, to which Rei would smile. _'You may not have noticed, but you as well have lost your life back then. You were the true founder of Undead after all and proved to be just as fitting to the name as yours truly.'_

Koga scoffed. Whatever, this really wasn't the time to make up conversations with Rei in his head. 

Another look at the time: 4:56 pm. Fuck, it was almost time. Koga's nervous fidgeting alarmed Leon, who had been resting by his feet until now before yapping at his owner and then climbing into his lap. “I know buddy, I know. You're a good boy, ain'tcha? Ya always know when something's up, huh? Well, ya don't hafta worry, it'll be fine...I guess,” Koga cooed, gently running his hand through the corgi's soft fur. He wasn't sure which of the two Koga was trying to console more with his own words. 

He wasn't given the time to think about it for much longer anyway, because it finally rang at the door. Leon let out a bark at that, jumped off Koga, and hurried to the door in excitement. God, shit. How was he supposed to even face Natsume? The bastard was perceptive and Koga really didn't want to give himself away immediately. Ugh, fuck it, it was now or never. 

And so he dragged himself off the couch and made his way to the door where his four-legged friend was already waiting, looking between his owner and the door while wagging his tail. Taking one last, deep breath, Koga finally opened the door to reveal the shitty redhead and his stupid, pretty face. Natsume greeted him as per usual and wasted no time pushing past Koga and entering his apartment, Leon jumping up the Natsume's leg until he kneeled down to pet the dog. “Hi to you too, buddY~” Natsume whispered to the small creature and Koga would have definitely appreciated the sight if not for the fact that he was sure he was going to have a heart attack within the next 30 seconds if he kept thinking about the fact that Natsume was here now and that Koga was about to possibly ruin one of his most important friendships.

“Sora and I got a new video game yesterdAY. I brought it with me so we can try it out, how's that sOUND?” the smaller boy asked as he got up again and the two of them made their way into the small living room.

“Sure, but we gotta play a round of Mau Mau first, I want my damn revenge for last time!” Koga insisted, trying to sound as casual as he could, though he wasn't exactly sure if he was succeeding at all. 

Apparently not so much, because Natsume cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. “You're quite persistent today, aren't yOU? Usually, you will let me pick something even if it's your turn choosING” Shit. He blew his cover already, didn't he? It was true, they had agreed that they would take turns choosing what to do first whenever they met, though Koga never much cared and let Natsume choose most of the time. Today was different though. Today he needed them to play a card game. 

“I don't mind thOUGH. We can just play the game latER,” the magician continued when Koga didn't reply. He released a breath at that, thankful that Natsume didn't seem suspicious of him yet, and then they settled down together and Koga poured both of them something to drink, which Natsume accepted with a nod. 

“Aight, you ready then?” Koga asked as he reached for his cards, careful as to not expose any of the modified cards in the deck before he dealt them to Natsume. 

“Ready to beat your cocky ass agAIN? AlwAYS.” 

“Wow, fuck you too. Talk about cocky, huh?” came the immediate reply, though it lacked the usual bark in his tone. He was too damn nervous for this shit and he had to concentrate entirely too hard when he shuffled the cards to avoid having one of them slip out while also keeping track of the 5 important ones. Once the cards were in the exact order he wanted, he stopped for one last moment.

This was it. If he dealt the cards now, it would be a matter of mere seconds before Natsume would read the words. Maybe he should have agreed to play that new video game first, at least that would have given him just a bit more time with Natsume if everything went downhill now. But he was already this far in and he didn't think he could back out anymore. So, before his lingering became too apparent, he let the first card on the top of the deck slip from its place until it landed in front of Natsume. Then the next one closer to himself. He repeated the familiar motions until each of them had 5 cards in front of them, set the deck in the middle, took the card on top and lay it next to the deck facing up. Koga didn't pay attention to what card he had revealed and he also didn't pay attention to his own cards as he picked them up. After all, his real intention was never to actually play in the first place. 

His eyes were glued to Natsume, who was picking up his own cards, suspecting nothing at all. The redhead's expression quickly turned into one of confusion, however, eyes scanning the cards. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again and switched some of the cards in their place in his hand. That entire situation probably didn't last longer than 20 seconds, but it felt like a lifetime to Koga that gave him enough time to power through the 5 stages of grief and an additional 46 emotions as he waited. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, blood pumping and making his head throb with each beat. He had to swallow but the lump in his throat was so big it almost made it impossible. He put his cards down again when his hands started sweating, god, he was going to die if he had to wait any longer.

Finally, when Natsume seemed to have adjusted the cards to form the intended sentence, the boy in front of him looked up at Koga with an unreadable expression. 

“Are you seriOUS?” Natsume asked. Koga could swear his heart stopped. He wanted to go back in time and undo all of this already. 

Koga nodded, unable to trust his own voice, but that didn't seem convincing enough. “Y-yeah. Been pretty damn serious about it for a fuckin' while now.”

Natsume did not reply. Instead, he looked down at the cards again and seemed to think for a while. Koga couldn't take it anymore. 

“Just freakin' say no, alright? No need to sugar-coat shit. Tell me to fuck off and I will but don't give me the silent treatment! I-”

“Will you shut your mouth for a secOND?” And that did shut up Koga. 

When their eyes locked once more, the next few seconds passed in a blur. One moment Natsume sat a few feet across from him and the next moment he was right in front of him, amber eyes so close he had to hold his breath again. He could feel Natsume's hand wrapped around his left wrist, pulling him closer and- 

And then there was the feeling of soft lips connecting with his.

Koga's chest was on fire. He would refer to it as the so-called butterflies in his stomach but, really, it felt more like a firework going off. The feeling sent shivers down his spine and the intensity of the kiss sent sparks from their lips through his whole body. Koga could drown in all of it. 

Once he surpassed the initial moment of shock, he closed his eyes and moved his own lips against those of Natsume, placing his free right hand on the other's cheek so that they could find into a mutual rhythm even better. Admittedly, the kiss was quite clumsy since both of them were inexperienced in this kind of thing, but Koga couldn't have asked for a better first kiss. This was all he had dreamed of and so much more. 

He wanted it to last forever, the sensation on his lips and the fire in his body and the feeling that nothing in the world except for the two of them mattered in that moment. Unfortunately, their bodies had to remind the two of their need for oxygen so they pulled apart again to catch their breath, though stayed connected by Koga's hand on Natsume's cheek and in return Natsume's hand that went from his wrist to his hand so that their fingers could intertwine. 

“WoW” was all Natsume could mutter as they looked into each other's eyes again.

“You're a damn tease, you shitty bastard,” Koga said, though he couldn't stop the huge smile forming. 

“Shut up and kiss me agAIN”

“You got it, I would've either way,” and so this time Koga leaned forwards to initiate a kiss. It was smoother this time, yet still filled with as many emotions as the first one and the fireworks were also no lesser than before. Everything about it was perfect. 

“I can't believe you asked me out like thIS, it's so cheesy for the oh so proud 'lone wOLF',” Natsume teased after they parted once again, still close enough for their foreheads to touch.

“Don't act like ya don't like it, shitty brat. This is all your damn fault, anyway”

“Oh, I do like iT. In fact, I love iT,” he started, then moved both of his hands to cup Koga's face, “And I love yOU”

It was Natsume's turn to initiate another kiss, shorter than the last but still effective to convey what he had just said into action. 

Something inside of Koga, who couldn't remember the last time he had heard those words and was actually not sure if he had ever heard them before at all, clicked, and before he knew it, his eyes were filled with tears. What the hell was he getting so emotional for?! 

“I love you too,” Koga replied, and saying it filled him with so much relief. He had wanted to say this for so long now. “I love you so fucking much it's killin' me”

Another kiss. A tear spilling from Koga's eye. It ran down the side of his nose and eventually mixed into the kiss, salty and sweet coming together. Any further tears shed would be caught by Natsume's hands that remained on his cheeks, wiping away at the dampness in such a gentle way that it almost made him cry more. 

This time neither of them said anything once it was over, instead, Natsume moved to pull the taller boy into a hug, their bodies pressed together neatly as if they were two pieces of a puzzled meant to connect perfectly.

Normally Koga would complain about the intensity of affection that he absolutely wasn't used to and should object to for the sake of his image, but in this moment, Natsume had managed to tear down every single wall of his, that would hide nothing but a scared little boy who just needed someone to care about him and tell him that he mattered and that he was loved. And so Koga just gave in to that hidden need and returned the hug, resting his head on Natsume's shoulder as he curled into the other body as far as he could, simply relishing the comforting feeling.

“You really are like a little puppy, hUH?” Natsume murmured softly, tightening his grip around the other boy slightly.

“How often do I have to tell y'all I'm not a dog?! You're lucky I don't feel like biting yer neck open right now.”

“What if I want you to bite mE~?” 

Koga grimaced into Natsume's shoulder at that. “Ew. Weirdo.”

Natsume merely chuckled at that, causing a soft rumble in his chest that even Koga could feel. “Oh you love mE,” the redhead once again wasted no time messing around with his...newly acquired boyfriend. 

“Yeah...sure do, asshole,” was all Koga responded in his usual fashion. 

After that they both remained silent for a while, simply enjoying the closeness of each other that both of them needed more than they would admit. 

“So...do you want to actually resume our gAME?” Natsume asked after the two boys had been alerted by Leon howling next to them. 

“The card game?” Koga questioned back as he pet Leon. “I didn't exactly wanna play. It was just to...y'know...You can show me that video game ya got though.”

That put a genuine smile on Natsume's lips. “AweSOME!” he exclaimed before he got up and went to the TV so that he could insert the game he had brought. 

Koga, too, had to smile. He was so fucking lucky. Perhaps fortune-telling was real after all.

Once Natsume had introduced Koga to the game – an RPG with both a co-op and a competitive function – they decided to play both with and against each other. 

“If I wIN, you have to kiss mE,” Natsume decided as the two stared at the loading screen.

“Oh? And if I win?” 

“Then you get to kiss mE~” Natsume grinned at the grey-haired, who just shook his head, albeit with rosy cheeks.

“Cheeky bastard” 

And so they played for a few hours, though Koga was noticeably less competitive than usual, which could be because the result of winning and losing alike was something Koga looked forward to, much like Natsume, who came up with the idea after all and thought it a good excuse to kiss Koga some more. 

“Will ya stay the night at least?” Koga half-pleaded once the sun had set and it was around a time where Natsume would usually leave and go home. 

“Like I could resist you when you look at me like thAT. Alright, I'll stAY.”

“Thanks...Also, uhm...” Koga looked away, slightly embarrassed at the request sitting on his tongue. “I don't usually share with anyone but Leon but...are ya gonna sleep in bed with me?” Koga knew he was being bold and entirely too honest than normal for him, but today was far from normal anyway, so he figured he should get as much out of it as possible.

“Ah...suRE. I'd like that, actualLY,” and for once Natsume, too, had a bashful look on his face. “I didn't bring any spare clothes or anything thoUGH.” 

“I can lend ya some of mine...they're probably gonna be a lil' big on ya but it'll work for the night,” Koga offered and stood up, stretching out properly before reaching his hand out to Natsume and pulling him into a standing position as well. They went to the small bedroom adjacent to the living area, where Koga pulled a shirt and a pair of shorts from his closet and threw them into Natsume's direction before grabbing clothes for himself. 

Without any shame, Natsume started undressing right in front of Koga, which definitely made his brain stop working for a good few seconds before he turned away from Natsume, head red with embarrassment. Did that guy seriously have no dignity?!

Whatever. Koga just changed himself before peeking back at his partner, satisfied when the other was finished as well. He had to admit...Natsume looked so fucking good in Koga's clothes. They indeed hung a little loose, but it helped making him look even more adorable than usual. God, Koga was so stupidly whipped.

“You're starING.”

Again Koga turned away and busied himself by rearranging the pillows a little. “Am not...”

The chuckle earned by that from Natsume almost made the awkwardness of the situation worth it.

“Now stop standing there like an idiot and c'mere,” Koga called over before climbing onto his bed, leaving enough space for Natsume to join next to him, which was exactly what he did. 

With a whistle from Koga, Leon appeared soon after as well and jumped onto the bed, taking up the space at the foot of the bed. 

The two boys fumbled around for a while until they were both settled under the covers. Koga then closed the space between them and pulled Natsume closer one last time. The redhead, who begrudgingly had to accept being the little spoon tonight, made sure to savor Koga's soft attitude for as long as it lasted and moved as close as possible. He could hear Koga's heartbeat in that position, which was probably slightly faster than normal, but Natsume would be lying if he said he wasn't also still overwhelmed by the entire situation. Still, both of them couldn't be any happier with how everything had turned out. 

“Good night, KoGA.” Natsume whispered, his usual catchphrase actually fitting for once. Koga definitely did not do an internal double-take at the mention of his first name, though Natsume didn't miss the way Koga's heart skipped a beat at it.

“Yeah..g'night, Natsu...” Koga responded and Natsume couldn't help but smile into the other's chest. 

Surprisingly for Koga, Natsume didn't last much longer than five minutes before his breath evened out and he was sound asleep. He took his chance and shuffled away ever so slightly just to be able to get a better look at Natsume's sleeping features. Koga didn't like cute things but he was starting to think he would make an exception for this one. 

Carefully he pressed a kiss to Natsume's forehead before pulling him close again and closing his eyes. Like this, with the person he loved in his arms and his four-legged best friend resting against his back, Koga was able to fall asleep peacefully, every ounce of worry or stress washed away. 

Truly, he had found a partner to rely on. A partner who loved him for who he was after not knowing who he even was himself. Perhaps this was what it felt like to be at home at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you've really made it to the end...Thank you so much for joining me on this little journey! Granted, this doesn't have to be the last chapter! If I can come up with more ideas that fit into this project, I would definitely add more chapters!!! For now, this is the end though. 
> 
> Special thanks go out to my wonderful girlfriend! You were my biggest motivation for this entire piece, I don't think I would have ever finished it without you. Therefore I thank you. I love you so much. <3


End file.
